Almost Lover
by Damaged.broken
Summary: house heals cameron... in his own way. my first EVER fanfic, so deal... H/C


**Almost Lover**

_**Your fingertips across my skin  
The palm trees swaying in the wind  
Images**_

It was the dead of night when the knock came to her door. No illumination eased her as her eyes never left the wall she was so focused on studying. Her body never moved in the slightest as, once more, her door was assaulted. Quiet was restored to her petite apartment as nothing stirred except for the slow rise and fall of her chest as she continued to stare.

_**You sang me Spanish lullabies  
The sweetest sadness in your eyes  
Clever trick**_

Whomever was at the door appeared to give up, that is until the tell tale sound of a lock being prodded at pierced the air. Still, she sat, never once showing the slightest urge to readjust herself.

When the doors lock finally gave in to its abuser, it didn't take long for whomever to open the door and enter her sanctuary uninvited. Unwanted. Undesired.

_**I never want to see you unhappy**_

For her, the first knock at the door had let her know who had invaded her thoughts. The hard wood-on-wood sounds a dead giveaway. But for others, the distinctive _thump-step_ producedas her visitor entered her apartment and slowly her living room told everything. But all these thoughts were pushed aside as she closed her eyes and sighed. Her heart heavy, her mind so very tired. Alone.

_**I thought you'd want the same for me**_

She refused to move as the couch dipped to her left. She refused to open her eyes as a sigh was heard and drifted in the silence of the dark room. Never once did she let on that she needed the presence or the thoughts of her solicitor. It was the silence that she needed, the dead air that comforted her. Not the unending presence of another.

_**Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?**_

Hope nagged at her as the invader stood, only to be forced back down as she heard the coffee table in front of her replace her couch as a seat. The soft '_umpf_' of a wooden object being lightly tossed onto the couch beside her assaulted her senses. The glare from a street lamp below barely brought any light to her home, but it was enough so that when she did finally did open her eyes and let them adjust to the dim surroundings, the outline in front of her was just noticeable. But still, she remanded oblivious to her visitor, for her own benefit at the very least.

_**So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
**_

Time seemed endless as they sat there, neither giving nor taking. But being the impatient one, her visitor decided to let said presence be known, because the silence was just to deafening between them.

"Cameron?"

Nothing.

"Cameron?"

Silence.

Another sigh as the outline shifted uncomfortably and said in a soft whisper;

"Allison."

She forgot to breathe for a moment.

_**I should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do**_

A calloused finger lightly caressed her face as it tucked an arrant hair behind her ear. Finger tips slowly stroked downwards from her ear softly touching her wavy loose hair, only to disappear a second later, the hand taken back, as if realizing what it had snuck out to do. A gruff noise, somewhere between a sigh and disapproval, penetrated the air between them.

"You can't keep this up. It has to stop." Harsh words said in a soft voice as once more the silence was broken.

_**We walked along a crowded street  
You took my hand and danced with me  
Images**_

She moved. Standing swiftly, she instinctively weaved around furniture as she made her way down the hall into her bedroom. Never once did she look back.

Her room contained just as little if not less than her living room. Her bed clothes neat and impeccable, as they should be, her night gown lay untouched across the comforter. A few picture frames, one of her and **him**, were scattered around the room.

_**And when you left you kissed my lips  
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no**_

Her destination was not her bed though but the small window that lay beyond and the equally small but snug nook that lay beneath it.

Curling up into the window seat, pillows adding little comfort, she gazed out onto the street below. Not the most exciting view, but the quiet side street on which her apartment resided left her to her thoughts. Too soon, the dull sound of a cane and shoes travelled up her hallway and into her bedroom only to stop at the door. Obviously reaching the conclusion that no invitation to enter was going to be given or refused, the sounds continued on into the room. They paused at the end of her bed a few paces from her and the window only to be replaced by the soft _tap-tap-tap_ of a rubber-end meeting the wood of her floor.

"Allis-"

"Don't."

_**I never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me**_

Her voice seemed to echo through the room, rough from disuse but loud enough to be stern. The tapping stopped.

"You have to stop doing this to yourself. Stop letting yourself be so affected, stop caring so much." A sigh. "You just have to stop."

"You mean become you?" was her sarcastic response, her gaze never leaving the window.

"Yes! I mean, no. Cameron, you're going to self-destruct. You can't keep treating patients if every time we lose one sends you into a downward spiral. I can't work around that neediness!"

For the first time since the arrival of her unwanted guest, she turned her head and acknowledged the presence. A quiet, almost sad, laugh escaped her lips. She glared, harsh beautiful eyes penetrated those of her guest, reaching deep within.

_**Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?  
So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
**_

"Just leave. Please House... just go."

Her eyes softened as she begged. Her gentle voice betraying the hurt she felt. Closing her eyes on the world, she leaned her head back and sighed. She was just so tired of it all. Tired of trying so hard and getting nothing in return. Nothing to validate her existence. Nothing to make up for all the pain and tears. Years before, she thought she had hope. She had a man who cared for her deeply enough to show her his pain. Her love for him made up for all the hurt in the world. It forgave her mother's death and helped her move on to be a better person. But his eventual and expected passing left a hole in her heart, one so big, nothing could ever make her feel whole again.

_**I should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do**_

But this man. This narcissistic, bastard of a man who insisted on hurting her, cutting at her and pushing her harder then she could have ever imagined had worked his way into her heart. And for brief moments since her husband's death, she felt complete.

_**I cannot go to the ocean  
I cannot drive the streets at night  
I cannot wake up in the morning  
Without you on my mind**_

"No."

One simple word collapsed her world. One syllable of denial crushed her and tore her. She wanted her silence back, her serenity. She wanted her hurt to continue because it was the only way for her to forget him and her undeniable love for him. To forget that everything she gave, left her with nothing in return.

_**So you're gone and I'm haunted  
And I bet you are just fine  
Did I make it that easy  
To walk right in and out of my life?**_

She never heard his approach, never felt him lower himself to the small space beside her. What she did feel was his soft touch, heard his soothing words as leaned closer so that his warm breath caressed her ear as he whispered to her,

"Loving me will hurt you more than anything you have ever felt."

He let her remember; once more, she remembered everything bad and horrible in her life as it came crashing in to her.

_**Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?  
So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
I should've known you'd bring me heartache**_

And as one tear slipped out and fell, he forgave her all her sins and gave back her silence. But with the closing of the door as he left, she felt that, in time, her heart won't feel so heavy at the losses. She will always care deeply but knows that with this man loving her, she won't have to be so alone.

_**Almost lovers always do**_


End file.
